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Article Originally appeared on. mymove.com Moving is a major life event that causes stress and anxiety, according to the Mayo Clinic. Managing the stress of moving includes planning, organizing, eating healthy, exercising, and asking for help.  Let’s go over moving stress and how to handle moving anxiety and why moving can trigger anxiety.
The American Psychiatric Association (APA) conducted a poll that showed Americans are anxious about finances, health, and safety. Moving, already a top stressor in its own right, can trigger anxiety because it affects your finances and safety.
Try these stress-saving steps Plan and prioritize while expecting the unexpected You can’t foresee every twist and turn, but you can reduce moving stress by planning ahead for what you can control. Change your address Use USPS® to schedule your mail to begin forwarding to your new address around your move-in date. Once updated, USPS will automatically forward mail sent to your old residential address to the new one. Notify important parties (bank, doctors, etc.) of your new address. While you’re at it, order a new driver’s license with your modified address from the DMV. Many states require an updated license within 30 days. Clear your calendar Don’t set yourself up for failure through unrealistic expectations. Clear your calendar as much as humanly possible surrounding your moving date. At a bare minimum, try to request a day or two off work or other engagements so that you’re not belaboring the process. It will also help prevent you from spreading yourself too thin. Schedule your utility transition Schedule the utility and water shut-off date for your current home and start date for your new address. The best way to prevent moving stress? Arrange for your utilities and water to be activated the day before your arrival, so that you have access to what you need-without question-on move-in day. Begin the purging process Even if you plan to hire movers, moving is the perfect time to eliminate unnecessary belongings. Do you really need that “vintage” teddy bear? We’ll let you answer that. The good news? Purging can be extremely cathartic. It’s an invigorating precedent to set for your new chapter and well-being. Break up your purge into three categories: trash, donations, and selling. Throw away, or recycle, what you can’t sell or donate. Start collecting boxes Caveat to the purging process: avoid purging boxes! Boxes are one moving expense you can avoid. Salvage any you already have, and ask friends, family and colleagues to hang onto theirs. You can get free boxes at liquor stores, bookstores, on Craigslist and on Freecycle, at grocery stores, and at fast food places. All you have to do is ask. While boxes are on the brain, learning the best tips for packing can help you dodge stressful packing mistakes. Tools to help reset and rest your brain and body Moving can really take it out of you. Sometimes our bodies crash as soon as our heads hit the pillow, but other times our minds race a million miles a minute, thinking about the next step for the move. To sleep better, start with some downtime without devices; try for thirty minutes screen-free right before bed. You can also try a melatonin supplement or magnesium supplement. Some relaxation techniques can also assist with recentering yourself. Try taking a soothing bath with epsom salt; the Cleveland Clinic notes that Epsom salt can help your mind and body by relaxing your muscles, relieving pain, and relieving stress and help you feel calm. 5 free wellness apps Calm Calm has guided meditations, stories narrated by celebrities, calming music, and nature sounds. Try it for free. Access to some features costs $70 a year after a free trial of two weeks. Happify Play games on Happify to help reduce anxiety and stress while learning some stress-management. It’s free, but you can get Happify Plus for $14.95 a month with discounts on one- or two-year purchases. Headspace Headspace will help you learn how to mediate and has articles to teach you about mental health. There are also inspiring stories and mini meditations. Get two weeks for free and then it’s $69.99 a year, or get one week for free and then pay $$12.99 a month. Brain.fm This app uses music to help you improve relaxation, focus, or sleep. Brain.fm uses their own patented technology. Listen five times for free. After that, it’s $6.99 a month or $49.99 a year. Insight Timer Insight Timer claims to be the number one app for sleep, anxiety, and stress. There’s a free library with thousands of guided meditations. It’s completely free, but you can choose to access even more with their Member Plus with a 30-day free trial and $60 a year after that. Lean on your support system As with any stress, bottling it up can wear you down. Confiding in someone as a sounding board, whether it’s for advice or just to vent about moving stress, can help you release built up tension. If your household includes children, remember this move could be an intimidating time for them as well, especially if the move requires changes in schools and friends. Make sure you’re keeping the lines of communication open during the shared moving challenge. Though easier said than done, channel as much optimism as possible and avoid negative self-talk. Positive thinking can lower stress levels. How to say goodbye to your old home Parting with the home you’re moving from can contribute to your moving anxiety. But there are some ways to say goodbye to your old home to ease that mental burden. Try hosting a goodbye party to officially say farewell (free packing help, anyone?). Take photos of your home for a photo album, or commission an artist to capture your old home so you have a souvenir to hang up in your new one. Share memories with your friends and family at your party. Encourage your kids to journal or draw about this transition. Take something with you to help remind you about your favorite part of living there: some leaves from your favorite tree or the door frame where your kids’ height markers are. Lastly, leave a positive note welcoming the new residents. Give them some advice or tips that will help them with their own transition. The bottom line There are some things you can do to help prepare for your move to help reduce the moving stress and anxiety. Plan ahead, organize, and prioritize your moving checklist. Here are some resources for if things get hard for you and you’re feeling a lot of moving anxiety: Disclaimer: This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health providers with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. The opinions expressed here by Bergen Review Media columnists are their own, not those of Bergenreview.com.
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Benjamin Hardy, PhD  Most people set New Years Resolutions each year. But they aren't strategic about the bigger picture. So they live much smaller lives than they need to. Before writing the first chapter of Harry Potter, J. K. Rowling planned for seven years at Hogwarts. Harry Potter is one of the most read books of all-time. Before creating the first Stars Wars movie in the 1970’s, George Lucas planned for at least six films and started at episode four, rather than episode one. Almost 40 years later, the entire world continues to be excited with the release of a new Star Wars film. This would not be possible if Lucas hadn’t thoughtfully and largely planned ahead. The principle is simple: Don’t just plant a tree, plant an orchard. How different might Harry Potter have been if Rowling started the book without any intentions or plans beyond the first book? It may have just been a book about a boy who went to school and killed a bad guy. Perhaps, at the conclusion of that story, Rowling might or might not have decided to write a sequel. Yet, by “beginning with the end in mind,” Rowling was able to direct and position the first book much differently. The first book, although amazing in itself, was a means to an end, clearly leading the reader to the next book. Not only that, but by having a long-term objective, Rowling was able to create a much bigger story. She was able to foreshadow things the reader wouldn’t learn about for sometimes several years! But she planted those seeds early and thoughtfully, and as a result, each book was a continuation of the next, rather than several disconnected and random stories. Similarly, consider how different Star Wars would have been had Lucas created one film, without planning what would come next, or before! Vader may have just been “the bad guy,” not Luke’s father. Very Few People Live like This You are the writer of your own narrative. Yet, how often do you plan each year based on what you intend to do during the next year or the one after that? What if, like Rowling, you were living this year based on what you intend to do in 1, 3, and 5 years from now? It’s all in the setup. Goals are means, not ends. Everything you do is positioning. Are you positioning yourself to do AMAZING things in 1, 3, or 5 years from now? I can already hear your mental wheels spinning. But you can’t plan for the future! The real world isn’t Hogwarts! Obviously, the world is changing fast. You can’t plan for everything. Hence, Tony Robbins has said, “Stay committed to your decisions, but stay flexible in your approach.” And that’s the difference. Most people don’t make committed decisions, which is why only 8% of people go on to accomplish their New Years Resolutions. In an interview between John Assaraf and Lewis Howes, Assaraf shared what his first mentor taught him about goal setting. After setting his goals in several areas of his life (e.g., health, spirituality, finances, relationships, service, etc.), and for 1, 3, 5, and 25 years out, Assaraf’s mentor asked him, “Are you interested in achieving these goals, or are you committed?” to which Assaraf responded, “What’s the difference?” His mentor responded: “If you’re interested, you come up with stories, excuses, reasons, and circumstances about why you can’t or why you won’t. If you’re committed, those go out the window. You just do whatever it takes.” Clearly, Assaraf’s life probably isn’t exactly how he planned it to be when he set those goals in 1982 at the age of 19. However, I’m confident those goals propelled him to where he is today. He was playing and planning a much bigger game than most people and writing a much different story. The Science Doesn’t Lie If psychological science has found anything in the past 30 years, it’s that people with high self-efficacy and an internal locus of control radically outperform others. Self-efficacy = your belief in your own ability to achieve your goals. Think “confidence.” Internal locus of control = a belief that you, not external circumstances, determine the outcomes of your life. External locus of control = a belief that factors outside of you determine the outcomes of your life. The majority of the population has low self-efficacy and an external locus of control. According to several research studies, people with these two traits:
The list goes on. You get the point. Reverse everything on that list for people with high self-efficacy and an internal locus of control. The Greatest Lie Postulated Today Is the world changing fast? Yes. Are factors outside of your control unpredictable? Yes. Do you have little control over the outcomes of your own life? No! I don’t care who the President of the United States is. You can prosper or perish in either case, and it’s not the President who decides that. But herein lies the greatest lie being pushed today: That you are not in control of what happens in your own life! Billionaire Peter Thiel has said: “Indefinite attitudes to the future explain what’s most dysfunctional in our world today. Process trumps substance: when people lack concrete plans to carry out, they use formal rules to assemble a portfolio of various options. This describes Americans today. In middle school, we’re encouraged to start hoarding “extracurricular activities.” In high school, ambitious students compete even harder to appear omnicompetent. By the time a student gets to college, he’s spent a decade curating a bewilderingly diverse résumé to prepare for a completely unknowable future. Come what may, he’s ready — for nothing in particular.” What would happen if you hired a construction manager to build your house and they said, “Don’t bother giving us a blueprint of the design you want. After all, you can’t really plan for anything. So I’m not exactly sure how your house will turn out.” When you build a house, you have a plan. You follow the plan and you follow principles, such as mathematical laws. Thus, you’re not surprised by the outcome. In other words, you don’t expect crooked walls that don’t line up. You don’t expect to have the bathroom where you intended the kitchen. Dr. Stephen R. Covey has taught, “Mental creation always precedes physical creation.” Very Few People Desire the Responsibility It’s easy to believe the idea that you are not responsible for what happens to you. It’s much harder to own up to the fact that you are making choices every instant that determine your future. Even this very moment, you’re reading this article. Who is responsible for that? Did you not click on the link that led you to this article? Did you have no control over the matter? The moment you realize you have complete responsibility for every aspect of your life is the exact moment you are completely FREE! (see the movie: The Adjustment Bureau) If someone or something outside of you is responsible for your health, you won’t do everything in your power to be healthy. If someone of something outside of you is responsible for you and yours, you won’t do everything in your power to provide for your family. If someone or something outside of you is responsible for your future, then like most people, you will be the product of external circumstances. Jim Rohn has said, “Let others lead small lives, but not you. Let others argue over small things, but not you. Let others cry over small hurts, but not you. Let others leave their future in someone else’s hands, but not you.” The 3 R’s of Choice “When I look into the future, it’s so bright it burns my eyes.” — Oprah Winfrey There are three components to having the power to make choices:
When you take responsibility for your choices, you realize there is no neutral ground. Every decision you make has inherent meaning and consequence. Every decision you make also reflects what you truly believe, far louder than any words you speak. Thus, what you do with your time actually does matter. Who you spend your time with does matter. Everything you do matters when you take responsibility. Lastly, results. Every decision has a consequence. Said Dr. Stephen R. Covey, “We control our actions, but the consequences that flow from those actions are controlled by principles.” Every decision (and indecision!) has a consequence. Withholding the words, “I love you,” to a child or spouse could be more detrimental than you imagine. Conversely, doing small and simple things, like making someone feel special or smiling at a stranger could change their whole day, and whole life! To quote one of my favorite songs: “Have I done any good in the world today? Have I helped anyone in need? Have I cheered up the sad and made someone feel glad? If not, I have failed indeed. There are chances for work all around just now, Opportunities right in our way. Do not let them pass by, saying, “Sometime I’ll try,” But go and do something today.” Every choice has a ripple effect. Living a Consciously Designed Life “The best way to predict your future is to create it.” — Abraham Lincoln Pulling it all together, here’s how it works:
“Resolve means it’s done,” said Robbins. “It’s done inside your heart, therefore it’s done in the real world.” Hence, Ralph Waldo Emerson famously said, “Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.” Few people make committed decisions. Instead, they state preferences such as, “I’d like to be healthier and happier.” To quote Assaraf’s mentor, “Are you interested or committed? 5. You are MOTIVATED, even when life is difficult. According to one of the core theories of motivation, motivation involves three components:
This theory is known as “Expectancy Theory,” and it highlights that what you expect to happen often does. Hence the term, “self-fulfilling prophecy.” Interestingly, there is a related concept known as “The Pygmalion Effect,” which shows that what other people expect of you in large measure determines how well you do. The principles are simple: Expect amazing things to happen and they generally will. Surround yourself with people who have high expectations for you and you’ll generally live up to those expectations. Conclusion: Humility and Awe “My dreams are my dress rehearsals for my future.” — David Copperfield Does everything in life go exactly how you plan it? Of course not.
Here’s the principle: Expect great things to happen, be happy even when they don’t. However, just because things don’t go exactly according to plan doesn’t mean you aren’t in control. It is your decisions, not your conditions, which determine your destiny. When you take up the responsibility to live your life according to design rather than default, you will constantly be humbled and in awe. You’ll be blown away as you watch life unfold as you saw it in your head — as your physical world conforms itself to your thoughts. You absolutely can live your life how Rowling wrote Harry Potter and how Lucas wrote Star Wars. You can dream and live BIG. You can live by design. Your world can continue to expand. But you must think further ahead. 2021 shouldn’t be viewed in isolation. It’s an obvious continuation of 2010. So what will your life be like in 2022? Dr. Benjamin Hardy is an organizational psychologist and bestselling author of Willpower Doesn’t Work and Personality Isn't Permanent. BY GEOFFREY JAMES  Getty Images Music makes you more productive but here's a playlist that might make you more successful. It's been known for decades that music makes you more productive. People who listen to music at work feel better about the workplace and tasks get done more quickly. People even rate conversations as "more satisfying" when there's background music present. A recent survey of over a thousand employers and employees, conducted by the workplace music provider CloudSound gauged the respondents' feelings about music in the work place. Among the findings:
"Brain imaging studies have shown that various parts of the brain may be activated by a piece of music." In other words, you can use specific pieces of music to "program" your brain to think and feel in specific ways. So, then, which songs are the most likely to make YOU more productive and satisfied at work? That varies according to your individual background and personality, but here are 39 songs that nine of the world's most successful people have in their playlist, in alphabetical order:
The opinions expressed here by bergenreview.com columnists are their own, not those of bergenreview.com.
 BY CHRIS MATYSZCZYK It's come to this. Perhaps it's about time. Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek. We live in singular times. Technology encourages us to disappear into our own personal worlds. Meanwhile, relationships seems to get harder and harder. Why, in a sign of apocalyptic avenues approaching, even Facebook is launching a dating service. Have you noticed, indeed, that you've been invited to fewer weddings lately? It might be because you've been known to misbehave when the good wishes and champagne flow. It might also be because there are fewer weddings occurring. Marriage rates have dipped 8 points since 1990. Let's turn, then, to the large brains at Cornell University to enlighten us as to why. Their new study, tantalizingly entitled Mismatches In the Marriage Market, tried to examine what might lie behind the trend toward more people living non-married lives. Could it be, perhaps, that there's less love around? 88 percent of Americans claim love is a very important reason to get married. Yet that same Pew Research poll cited another important aspect: About seven-in-ten adults (71 percent) said it was very important for a man to be able to support a family financially to be a good husband or partner, while just 32 percent said the same for a woman to be a good wife or partner. And here comes Cornell with its conclusion: This study reveals large deficits in the supply of potential male spouses. There really aren't too many good men around, apparently. Now when I say good, the study's lead author Daniel T. Lichter would like to offer his definition of goodness: Most American women hope to marry but current shortages of marriageable men -- men with a stable job and a good income -- make this increasingly difficult, especially in the current gig economy of unstable low-paying service jobs. Yes, too many men are simply economically unattractive. How sad that it's come to this. As inequality increases and technology increasingly takes advantage of cheap labor, love becomes part of a calculation. Long-term plans can't be made. Marriage is but a concept from another time and place. Yet there's another way in which equality is being achieved. Slowly, women are earning more. Which leads Lichter to muse: Marriage is still based on love, but it also is fundamentally an economic transaction. Many young men today have little to bring to the marriage bargain, especially as young women's educational levels on average now exceed their male suitors. Please don't worry, boys. One day soon, technology will find a way to make you all completely disposable. The opinions expressed here by Bergen Review Media columnists are their own, not those of Bergenreview.com. |
Written, Compiled & Edited byThe Bergen Review Media Team Archives
October 2024
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