Written by: Nick Jack owner of No Regrets Personal Training THE BEST BODY-WEIGHT WORKOUTS TO IMPROVE STRENGTH & FITNESSA lot of you may be wondering, are body-weight workouts enough for me to get stronger and see results? Many people underestimate the benefits body-weight exercises provide and limit their thinking to only one or two exercises, when there is literally hundreds of amazing varieties you could use. The best thing about these exercises is you are not limited with time and you need no equipment meaning you can get a great workout in almost anywhere! This can be a real game-changer for the person who travels a lot, or someone unable to get to the gym. These exercises are often prescribed by physical therapists and rehabilitation trainers to people with injury for they are excellent choices for improving stability of joints in a closed kinetic chain. And many of the advanced exercises like plyometric training are used by many elite sporting athletes for improving strength and power. In this article we will explain everything you need to know about body-weight exercises and provide you with several simple workouts for general muscle toning and losing fat no matter what level of fitness you think you are at! Why Are Body-weight Exercises So Good? You can do them anywhere, anytime, at your own pace and level, alone or with a friend—even if you and your friend are at different levels and it doesn't cost you a single cent. So often, the reason people do not exercise is simply that it's inconvenient. You have to go to a gym, or go outside when it's raining, or stay inside when it's beautiful outdoors just like the picture above of the girl doing push-ups in her lounge room. With body-weight exercises you do not need to get equipment out and get set anything up. You just do it when it's convenient and sometimes just a 15 minute workout can do wonders for your body, both mentally and physically. Other great benefits these provide include:
WHY BODY-WEIGHT EXERCISES ARE GREAT FOR IMPROVING JOINT STABILITY I touched on this quickly in the introduction but I think it is worth explaining this in more detail for many people underestimate the true value of bodyweight training when it comes to strength, stability, and injury prevention. Firstly I will explain what the closed kinetic chain means. These are exercises where the hand (for arm movement) or foot (for leg movement) is fixed in space and cannot move. The extremity remains in constant contact with the immobile surface, usually the ground or the base of a machine. A good example would be the push up is a closed chain pushing action and the bench press is an open chain pushing action. Closed-chain exercises are usually much less coordinated and easier for people to find the correct sequential muscle activation to effectively control joint movements. Typically, most rehabilitation protocols begin with closed-chain exercises because of the belief that they not only enhance the body's capability to produce stability, but also allow the muscles to provide the optimal amount of exertion around the joint and encourage proper centration. In all of our advanced online programs for injury and rehabilitation, stability is a big part of the early stages and many of the exercises used are bodyweight. The horsestance exercise for example is arguably the best exercise for back pain as it helps them to learn optimal pelvic and lumbar spine stability in a very controlled position. See the article – Is Horsestance the best exercise for back pain? What if you are not injured are they still useful? Absolutely, for the benefits these exercises provide the person in pain to restore stability of the joint, are the same ones that will help to maintain perfect alignment so you never get injured! I regularly use squats, chin-ups and push-ups in my training and find it keeps my body mobile enough to handle the more intense and complex exercises with dumbbells and barbells. This brings me to the next benefit, these exercises are very time efficient. YOU HAVE NO TIME TO EXERCISE? NOT A PROBLEM!If time is your problem, if you do shift work, you have a baby to look after at home, live too far away from a gym, or simply are a workaholic and have no time to go to a gym, then a body-weight workout is perfect for you! You can achieve great results from this training in as little as 15 minutes with the right plan. Even the busiest person can find 15 minutes and here are a few strategies to keep you do this:
You can find more ideas about how to find time in this article – How to find more time to workout when you are overly busy Now that you have a better understanding to the benefits of using your own body-weight as resistance what are the best exercises?TOP 10 BODY-WEIGHT EXERCISES:These are in no particular order of best to worst as they are all great in their own way. The most important thing to understand is they work best when used together. I see many people just do push-ups every day and while this is a great exercise it can create problems if abused like this. Before I go on make sure you download a copy of our Free Report on Functional Training as this gives you all the exercise instructions complete with pictures of all the exercises I am about to show you. Always remember technique is everything and more important than how many you do. This is one area that bodyweight exercises are often abused with for they are relatively easy to do so people get reckless with their form. Poor form will always lead to trouble later on so make sure you know what the technique is and never compromise the exercise. PUSH UP:This exercise is great for you when done correctly, working on upper body, core strength & neck stability also. Common technique faults are dropping your hips too low and dropping your head forward. Keep the hips and head up aligned and you will get the most out of the exercise. For more information on the push up see article – Push-ups are the best bodyweight exercise SQUAT:An excellent exercise for leg strength and overall functional movement. Many would rate this as the king of strength training for the numerous benefits it provides. There are numerous ways to regress or progress the current bodyweight squat which we show you in the workouts at the end of the article. The technique with this can be difficult for many to perfect so make sure you watch the video above that explains how to get this right. For more information on squats read the article – The Top 7 Squats PRONE COBRA:This is not a very common exercise but is a fantastic way to reset your posture and counter the effects of the push-up exercise. It is very beneficial for the strength of the upper back muscles and your neck. The key is to keep your chin tucked in looking at the floor and keeping your arms straight. LUNGE:Many beginners find this very difficult and it can leave you with a significant amount of leg soreness the first few times you do it. A much demanding exercise than the squat in terms of balance and hip mobility the different position targets muscles like the glutes more effectively than the squat. There are many variations of the lunge to use that are extremely exhausting with some of the more advanced versions fantastic for sporting athletes. For more information on lunges read the article – Lunges are great for fitness success HORSE-STANCE:As we discussed earlier this is a great stability exercise and good one for beginners. There is less demand for strength and more for stability and core control. The key here is to straighten your knee & opposite arm while keeping an upright posture, this will maximize the core work and strength benefits of your arm. LATERAL LUNGE:This is a good exercise to strengthen your hips & glutes in the side to side positioned movements and it also improves adductor (groin muscle) flexibility. The key with this exercise is to keep facing straight and not sideways, and sticking your butt back on the way down. INVERTED ROW (IF HAVE A BAR OR STRAPS): This is one of the exercises that requires some form of equipment. A strong bar to hold onto is all you need. If you don’t have access to this you can use a strong, heavy table to hold onto instead, or a stable horizontal fixed bar outside. The key with this exercise is to keep the hips high up and look up as you pull, so your head doesn’t fall forward. This strengthens the arms & back muscles. CHIN-UPSThis is a very tough exercise and many might find this too hard which is fine so stick to the inverted row if that is the case. Again this is one of the exercises that does need some kind of bar or straps to hold onto. I used to use the bars in the local school or kids playground and many parks these days have an area where you can do these. Arguably the best upper body exercise. See article – Why Chin-ups are so powerful to your core SINGLE LEG DEADLIFT:In our ratings of the 20 best exercises of all time this was number one! An awesome exercise to improve balance on one leg and hip control, a very powerful exercise for people of all ages and abilities! The key here is to stick your butt back on the way down and tip forward, rather than bending the knee. LOWER ABDOMINAL:Don’t be fooled by this exercise for while it looks very easy many people really struggle with it. Putting your hands behind your back is a good guide to feel your back move into neutral while you’re doing the exercise ensuring your core is working effectively. Keep your head on the ground and your shoulders back to maintain correct posture throughout. DEADLIFT:Many might question why this is shown as a bodyweight exercise as it really does not improve strength at all and seems very easy. We include this exercise as a way to learn how to lift things from the floor with good technique to prevent back pain. This particular movement is the most common way we see a bulging disc develop and often it is because of poor coordination and not knowing how to bend correctly. If you can find any type of object to pick up off the floor this will be fine as it is all about learning how to lift things in the correct positions. Make sure as you go down to grab the object, keep your butt back and chest up, doing this will keep the slight curve in your lower back, so it isn’t rounding forward! See article – Which deadlift version is best for you STEP UP:This is the first exercise that becomes a fitness challenge as much as a strength challenge. All you need is a stable chair or a bench to stand on and this is a fantastic way to improve leg strength, endurance, and cardiovascular fitness at the same time. Okay so that we have all the exercises how do you put it all together in a workout? 3 BODYWEIGHT WORKOUTS TO CHALLENGE YOU Here three workouts that increase in difficulty as you improve. This shows you how easily you can progress bodyweight exercises to increase the demand on the muscles without needing any equipment. The sets and reps you use for these workouts are often 2-3 sets x 10-15 reps however you can manipulate these depending on the exercise. For example you may be able to complete 20 push ups but you only need to do 6 prone cobras. Another great way to increase the difficulty is to perform the workout as a circuit where each exercise is completed one after the other with no rest between sets. This not allows you to get the workout completed quickly but also produces high levels of fatigue as the muscles are being constantly engaged and eventually exhausted. For more information read our detailed article – 4 Unique ways to use circuit training My advice is to keep it simple with 2-3 sets of 10-15 reps with a rest between each set until you master the exercises. Once you have mastered them progress to a circuit format. WORKOUT #1 - BEGINNER’S WORKOUT:This is a great workout for a beginner to start with and the main focus is on improving posture and getting used to the fundamental movement patterns used with the upper & lower body. It is very important to master technique before advancing too quickly to the next level to fully prepare your muscles and joints of the more advanced work to come! WORKOUT #2 - THE INTERMEDIATE LEVEL:Once you have mastered level one and have some of the simple foundation movements perfected it is time to progress to some more advanced exercises and skills. This time around we introduce single leg and lunge exercises that demand high degree of balance as much as strength. We also get our first look at lateral movement which is something many people really struggle with. WORKOUT #3 THE ADVANCED LEVEL:Once you feel you can complete the intermediate workout effectively you are now ready to take on the advanced level workout. The difference here, instead of advancing it through higher reps, sets or lowering rest time, this workout changes the speed. The speed increase tricks the muscles by having to not only move instantly explosive on the way up of the movement, but to catch you as you land. The muscles are forced to work much harder as your body-weight has now increased as it is on the move! It basically has to slam on the brakes as hard as it can to stop you. A good way to spice things up by improving your power, aerobic fitness and muscle tone. This program is a real fat burner! HOW MANY TIMES PER WEEK SHOULD YOU DO THESE WORKOUTS? All of these workouts used almost every muscle in the body which will create some damage that the body must have time to repair. This means that you MUST ensure you have at least 48 hours rest between workouts. It is important to allow enough time to fully recover otherwise the value of the training is compromised. The quality of the workout is of most importance, not how many workouts you do. This is a mistake that many make with this type of training by overdoing it thinking more is better and putting their body through too much fatigue. WANT EVEN MORE IDEAS? For tons of great ideas of how to put these exercises together in many challenging workouts make sure you get a copy of the Little Black Book below. This has over 100 detailed programs with exercises, sets, reps, rest and tempo all done for you and broken into specific chapters to make it easy to reference what you need. The ultimate tool and resource for you to get the most out of your training. Click here to see more and get your instant PDF copy. SUMMARY I hope this article has given you a better appreciation to the true value of body-weight exercises and a stack of ideas of how to structure them correctly in a workout that is relevant to your current level of ability. They not only provide your body with improvements in stability and strength that are really great fun when you know how to use them. And the best part is they don’t take up much time and can be done almost anywhere. What are you waiting for? Get started now! ABOUT THE AUTHOR Nick Jack is owner of No Regrets Personal Training and has over 15 years’ experience as a qualified Personal Trainer, Level 2 Rehabilitation trainer, CHEK practitioner, and Level 2 Sports conditioning Coach. Based in Melbourne Australia he specializes in providing solutions to injury and health problems for people of all ages using the latest methods of assessing movement and corrective exercise. The opinions expressed here by Bergen Review Media columnists are their own, not those of Bergenreview.com.
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BY CHRISTINA DESMARAIS Your thoughts, words, actions, and habits do affect the quality of your life. Practice the right things over and over again, and you'll reap the rewards and benefits.
There’s a saying (often attributed to various people) which goes something like: “Watch your thoughts, they become words; watch your words, they become actions; watch your actions, they become habits; watch your habits, they become character; watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.” It’s true. Your thoughts, words, actions and habits do affect the quality of your life. Practice the right things over and over again, and you’ll reap the rewards and benefits. Continually engage in behaviors which are harmful and you’ll undoubtedly suffer in one way or another. Along those lines, a lot can be learned by looking at the habits of successful people. Here are the simple things nearly two dozen top-performing executives credit for helping them get ahead in business and life. 1. Be clear about what you need from others “I've spent a lot of time on my own personal development to become a better leader, and one of the tactical but important things that I’ve implemented is to put in writing the expectations of my team. Whether that's sending an agenda before a meeting, sending a follow up email after a discussion to capture the next steps, or sharing my candid thoughts on the business, I have made a dedicated effort to communicate clearly and put things in writing to help people I interact with each day have a better understanding of what I need from them for our team to be successful. This helps everyone work more effectively, fostering an atmosphere of accountability and collaboration.” --Jude McColgan, CEO of Localytics, a digital intelligence platform that supports over 400 enterprise customers and handles three billion contextual consumer data points each day 2. Consider your priorities for the day ahead "When I wake up and make snack boxes and lunches for my kids, I get 15 minutes when the house is still asleep. Every morning, I run through the mental exercise of making two to-do lists: One is the list of things that are important, items in my daily life and at work that need my attention, and one list of things that are urgent. Anything that falls on both lists takes priority for the day. Looking at my time holistically when I can think clearly allows me to set realistic goals around what I need to accomplish, and identify what tasks add the most value to my personal and professional life.” --Pascal Zuta, cofounder and CEO of GYANT, an AI-driven patient connection and relationship management company that saw 300% growth in its customer base in 2019 and has engaged with 3.9 million users to date 3. Listen intently “In today’s technology-driven, gadget-enhanced world, we are often together alone. We find ourselves operating remotely, focusing on work and collaborating online. As such, I make a conscious effort to listen intently, ask questions, remember interests and more. The goal is to make each engagement more personal, and to engage in each conversation as if it were the foundation which to build a relationship. This focus on fostering personal connections has enabled me to have strong relationships at work, which yield trust and collaboration. To achieve this, fun needs to be part of the equation. The truth is that laugh therapy needs to be part of our everyday existence, especially at work.” --Craig Maloney, CEO of Maestro Health, an all-in employee health and benefits company that was recently acquired by AXA for $155 million 4. Hold yourself accountable “Let’s face it, nobody likes to admit to making a mistake, but in order to be successful, learning to hold yourself and your colleagues accountable is essential. Accountability is something people want, though it can be difficult to uphold. To be truly accountable to others, you need to first be accountable to yourself. Once you have a clear idea where you or your company is headed, you are able to set the right goals to keep yourself and your team on track for success each day. Stripping away the cycle of blame and excuses and replacing it with a culture of accountability can be stressful at first, but in my experience, has proven to be my most valuable asset in the long run, in both my personal life and professional career.” --Mike Wessinger, CEO of PointClickCare, a cloud-based software vendor for the senior care market, supporting over 10,000 senior living and assisted living communities across the country 5. Turn your nine-minute snooze into productive reflection and pre-flection time “When that alarm clock goes off, hit snooze, but don’t go back to sleep. Instead, use those nine minutes to do a body/mind/spirit scan. Here’s how: First, check in with your body (how you’re feeling, what you need, what parts may need extra TLC today, if you want or need to exercise, or if you want or need rest). Then, your mind: how you feel about that issue you were trying to figure out yesterday, the solution that you were just on the edge of resolving but couldn’t quite get there yet (sleep does wonders for problem solving), what you want to create today, and any other first thoughts that come in the morning. And finally, your heart and spirit: what your emotions are today, how your heart is, and where you might need a bit extra care or nourishment… It is during this time that I often find solutions to problems I couldn’t get to previously, where I find out how I really feel about something, and when my intuition is the strongest.” --Anese Cavanaugh, author of “Contagious You: Unlock Your Power to Influence, Lead, and Create the Impact You Want,” speaker and advisor to global organizations, and founder of the IEP Method (Intentional Energetic Presence), a framework for helping people create positive impact 6. Manage your email brutally "Email is a necessary evil so I've had to learn to manage them well otherwise too many things would fall between the cracks. In the mornings I recommend responding to anything that's quick to answer, and for everything else I read the first couple of lines and then leave as unread until you find time to get back to your inbox (my Gmail is set to have them stay at the top in conversation view). Critical messages should be typed out quickly, then if needed you can let them sit in draft form, but try not to overthink things too much and never re-read a message more than once before sending. Everything else can be left unread until you can find a chunk of time to really put your head down and blow through emails one by one to reach a reasonable level of unreads. Lastly, on days where you aren’t able to even look at emails until late at night, do your best to only answer those that are the most critical, and remember sometimes things can wait.” --Kurt Goodjohn, cofounder and CEO of Dvele, a customizable, pre-fabricated luxury home company which raised $14 million in funding in March 2019 7. Remove dependencies "I took a look at my day and made a list of everything that I was dependent on. I was dependent on some form of caffeine to kick start my day because I often didn't get the best sleep. I forced myself to disconnect and become responsible enough to get a good night's rest. I was dependent on several alarms every morning to wake me up, I forced myself to find the passion that drives me enough to wake up every morning on my own, which stemmed from knowing my responsibilities. I was dependent on my huge list of to-dos to let me know what I needed to complete; instead, I forced myself to be responsible enough to segment out my to-do list with due dates for myself, so I was held accountable. Removing dependencies gives you the ability to act on what you need to do without having to wait on something to give you the ability to do it." --Ronak Shah, CEO of collagen-fortified cereal company Obvi, which has thousands of customers globally, and cofounder of Ghost 3 Media, which has helped more than 25 Inc. 5000 brands scale their digital footprints 8. Subscribe to daily or weekly newsletters that aggregate content relevant to your industry or goals “This could be an industry newsletter focused on technology or one that does deep dives in various subjects, like McKinsey and Company’s. This will allow you to get away from day-to-day tasks and elevate your thinking, without having to spend lots of time seeking out this content. What you read might provide inspiration that helps you be a better leader, encourage you to explore a new technology solution, or provide you with an idea from a different industry that might have applicability to your business.” --Mike Gomes, chief experience officer at Cortland, a multifamily real estate investment, development and management company that is involved with more than 180 apartment communities with over 60,000 homes in the U.S., while also expanding in the build-to-rent market internationally in the U.K. 9. Take time to do what’s right for those around you “While it’s easy to become distracted by meetings, activities, and deadlines any given day presents, it’s also important to take the time to think. Think about doing the right thing for the people around you. Think about being kind. Think about being present. Think about making a difference for someone else. So often, we rush projects to meet the deadlines or cross them off our to-do list, often at the expense of doing the right thing or quality work. At the end of the day, ask yourself: Did I listen and support the needs of the people who rely on me? Did I help someone to learn and grow? Did I fully engage and support the needs of my team so we could all be successful? Did I serve as a good leader, friend or partner and make a difference by doing the right thing?” --Dan Knotts, President and CEO of RRD, a global provider of multichannel solutions for marketing and business communications with more than 50,000 clients across 34 countries 10. Live by the calendar “As part of my preparation for each week, I transfer tasks from my to-do list to my calendar. This means that meetings, errands, events, and specific work tasks each get their own block of time. It helps me to be more efficient in the use of my scheduled and free time, gives me a higher chance of getting things done, and helps me be more accountable to myself and others.” --Tomide Awe, founder of Olori, a brand that offers high quality handbags which showcase the African cultures, and has served hundreds of customers across the globe, doubling revenue by 100% in the past year 11. Take one deep breath “What is the difference between being mission-driven and emotion-driven? One deep breath. We all have natural human emotions: anger, happiness, sadness etc. That's normal. We don't control feeling them. However, mentally and emotionally resilient people control how they react to them. They take one deep breath and think (‘think’ is the key word), ‘How do I best respond to this emotion so that it will help my team best accomplish its mission?’" --Eric Kapitulik, author of “The Program: Lessons from Elite Military Units for Creating and Sustaining High Performance Leaders and Teams” 12. Schedule a learning workout “Like many, I struggled to balance work and health. I felt guilty taking time off in the middle of day to hit the gym because I felt I should be working. If I worked through to the end of the day, I often was too tired to work out. Then, I found a great way out of this dilemma: the learning workout. I select a book or podcast I should be reading for work, queue it up on my phone, then listen to it at the gym or while on a run. This gives me an hour of uninterrupted reading time (which I rarely get sitting at the office), has tripled the number of books I read a year, and keeps me in shape.” --Kaihan Krippendorff, author of “Driving Innovation from Within: A Guide for Internal Entrepreneurs” and founder of Outthinker, a growth strategy firm which has generated over $2.5 billion in new annual revenue for clients to date 13. Sit with a difficult question “I know that two of my most obvious flaws are being seduced by busyness, and avoiding conflict; and of course, one feeds the other. I’ve become a fan of the Bullet Journal method over the last number of months (after years of journaling fails), and I start many days by writing out my answers to two questions. First, ‘What would meaningful progress look like today?’ That word ‘meaningful’ allows me very little wriggle room in thinking that just crossing off tasks is a good use of my time. And second, ‘What am I pretending not to know?’ That question makes me laugh nervously every time. It forces me to confess to not only what might not be working, but my role in what might not be working. It spurs me on to be more courageous than I might otherwise be.” --Michael Bungay Stanier, author of the Wall Street Journal bestseller “The Coaching Habit” and the forthcoming “The Advice Trap” 14. Start with your top priority for the day "I spend the first part of my working day tackling my top priority. It's when my energy has been restored through a good night's sleep and I'm able to give the work my best self. I think most of us would agree that as the day goes on the risk of being pulled into other people's priorities or being distracted by intervening events only increases. Starting the day with what matters to you is how you give it your best self and mitigate the risk of losing the opportunity to focus on it." --Jamie Brown Hantman, author of “Heels in the Arena: Living Purple In a Red/Blue Town” and former senior White House and DOJ official 15. Be portable and adaptable "You can’t control what happens in life just how you respond to what happens. The only thing permanent in life is change. And change is guaranteed. We have to embrace the ebbs and flows, by responding with adaptability. That’s one of the virtues that helps us get in front of anxiety, because anxiety is all about control and the fear of losing control.” --Achea Redd, founder of female empowerment organization Real Girls F.A.R.T. [Fearless, Authentic, Rescuer, Trailblazer] and author of the book “Be Free. Be You.” 16. Engineer your environment “We can really thrive when we work to understand how our environment impacts our habits and derailers. We'd like to think we make decisions rationally, but research shows that more often than not, we don't. Making micro-decisions about your environment can set you up for success. Over the years, I've found these changes can be hard to make at first, but they're worth the pay off. Let's say you need time for strategy work and deep thinking. Log off email or Slack, silence your phone, and put it in the other room. Or if you know you have a tendency toward perfectionism, create deadlines so you're accountable for turning in 60 percent of the work, then 80 percent, and so on. Ultimately, we choose to be our own best friend or our own worst enemy.” --Kerry Goyette, author of “The Non-Obvious Guide to Emotional Intelligence,” a Forbes Best Business Book, and president of Aperio Consulting Group, whose clients have included Shell Oil and the Houston Texans 17. Identify your three things “Take a few minutes before you start the day to write down what are one to three things that would make you consider this day a success. It should be no more than three, and they can include personal goals (i.e., go to the gym, leave by a stated time) or work goals (get the next step of that project done, stay calm no matter what comes my way). Doing this can change your day more than you’d expect. Too often we end days having been busy but not feeling like we achieved enough-;but that changes when you have this to evaluate your day by.” --Marianne Cantwell, author of “Be a Free Range Human: Escape the 9-5, Create a Life You Love and Still Pay the Bills,” and TEDx speaker with 400,000-plus views 18. Actively practice leadership "Just as attorneys practice law, leaders need to practice leadership. Great leaders influence others toward a better future. Leadership requires public optimism, confidence, practice, practice and more practice. Every day I identify the top eight to 10 people I need to influence, whether they're colleagues, clients, friends or loved ones. Then I write their names on my list and practice leadership: Some require a phone call, others need a direct meeting. Everyone on my daily target list needs to know that they are important to me and my business. When I practice leadership daily, then I stay focused on my objective of being a leading provider of outcome-based leadership development solutions." --Doug Gray, Ph.D., author of “Objectives and Key Results (OKR) Leadership” and CEO of Action Learning Associates who has worked with over 10,000 leaders in multiple sectors since 1997 19. Make long-term, consistent and incremental improvements “My life was in a deep, dark hole at age 42. I was living in a friend’s second home, I was working through my divorce, the economy and my businesses were in a shambles. It was 2008 and all areas of my life were challenged. I made a resolution to mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally, intellectually, and financially intentionally improve myself by the time I was 50 by making long term, consistent and incremental improvements. I learned to say no to anything misaligned with my plan which included: learning to delegate without guilt, prioritizing my time and sticking to it, journaling my gratitude for a positive attitude, surrounding myself with supportive people who are champions of possibility, finding clarity in my purpose and personal values, and giving back to others. Over time, adding these small changes and practicing them changed my focus and my life.” --Sue Hawkes, founder and CEO of YESS!, a $1.3 million consulting firm that helps people succeed 20. Track your habit “It takes around two months to build a habit. At first, sticking to your habits can feel like a lot of work, but as you progress through the two-month period, gradually it will feel more and more natural. People usually give up at around a third into this two-month period, but the trick is to track each day when you successfully accomplish your target habit. Seeing your daily progress builds the confidence to make it to the end of this two-month period and builds a sense of accomplishment. There are many apps and tools for tracking this easily; even a simple spreadsheet or notepad will work." --Jono Bacon, CEO of Jono Bacon Consulting, which has clients including Microsoft, Intel, Google, Sony Mobile and Deutsche Bank, founder of the Community Leadership Summit and Open Collaboration Conferences and author of “People Powered: How communities can supercharge your business, brand, and teams” 21. Turn off your notifications "Humans love being socially included and modern technology has found a way to tug at our sleeve to alert us to every moment of social interaction. Not only do we tell ourselves that we feel happier to be kept updated in the moment, but we also judge our own bosses on how quickly they respond to our own messages. But when we take a breather from this, it seems to have a disproportionately refreshing effect on us. Researchers from Telefonica and Carnegie Mellon University set out to see the impact on people's well-being of them turning their phone notifications off for a week. They couldn't get anywhere near enough people to participate. Cowed by the rejections, they revised their ambitions and asked people to turn notifications off for a day. The participants reported feeling they had clearer thoughts, and their concentration improved as their itchy need to check devices subsided. The researchers reported that -- remarkably -- half of those who had turned off notifications for a single day still hadn't returned to their old alerts two years later." --Bruce Daisley, VP of Europe, the Middle East and Africa for Twitter and author of “Eat Sleep Work Repeat: 30 Hacks for Bringing Joy to Your Job” 22. Learn something every day and write it down "With knowledge so readily available, it now comes down to a willingness and dedication to learn. Today, we all must be curious and open to learning something new every day. Learning to not block, judge, reject and automatically categorize ideas and beliefs, allows for openness that may lead you to some of the best opportunities of your life. By learning something new every day and writing down your thoughts, you will create a deeper understanding of the world and the different types of unique people who inhabit it." The opinions expressed here by bergenreview.com columnists are their own, not those of bergenreview.com by ADAM GRANT & ALLISON SWEET GRANT As anyone who has been called out for hypocrisy by a small child knows, kids are exquisitely attuned to gaps between what grown-ups say and what grown-ups do.
If you survey American parents about what they want for their kids, more than 90 percent say one of their top priorities is that their children be caring. This makes sense: Kindness and concern for others are held as moral virtues in nearly every society and every major religion. But when you ask children what their parents want for them, 81 percent say their parents value achievement and happiness over caring. Kids learn what’s important to adults not by listening to what we say, but by noticing what gets our attention. And in many developed societies, parents now pay more attention to individual achievement and happiness than anything else. However much we praise kindness and caring, we’re not actually showing our kids that we value these traits. Perhaps we shouldn’t be surprised, then, that kindness appears to be in decline. A rigorous analysis of annual surveys of American college students showed a substantial drop from 1979 to 2009 in empathy and in imagining the perspectives of others. Over this period, students grew less likely to feel concern for people less fortunate than themselves—and less bothered by seeing others treated unfairly. It’s not just that people care less; they seem to be helping less, too. In one experiment, a sociologist scattered thousands of what appeared to be lost letters in dozens of American cities in 2001, and again in 2011. From the first round to the second one, the proportion of letters that was picked up by helpful passersby and put in a mailbox declined by 10 percent. (When the same experiment was conducted in Canada, helpfulness didn’t diminish.) Psychologists find that kids born after 1995 are just as likely as their predecessors to believe that other people experiencing difficulty should be helped—but they feel less personal responsibility to take action themselves. For example, they are less likely to donate to charity, or even to express an interest in doing so. If society is fractured today, if we truly care less about one another, some of the blame lies with the values parents have elevated. In our own lives, we’ve observed many fellow parents becoming so focused on achievement that they fail to nurture kindness. They seem to regard their children’s accolades as a personal badge of honor—and their children’s failures as a negative reflection on their own parenting. Other parents subtly discourage kindness, seeing it as a source of weakness in a fiercely competitive world. In some parenting circles, for example, there’s a movement against intervening when preschoolers are selfish in their play. These parents worry that stepping in might prevent kids from learning to stick up for themselves, and say that they’re less worried about the prospect of raising an adult who doesn’t share than one who struggles to say no. But there’s no reason parents can’t teach their kids to care about others and themselves—to be both generous and self-respecting. If you encourage children to consider the needs and feelings of others, sometimes they will and sometimes they won’t. But they’ll soon learn the norm of reciprocity: If you don’t treat others considerately, they may not be considerate toward you. And those around you will be less likely to be considerate of one another, too. Parents’ emphasis on toughness is partly an unintended consequence of the admirable desire to treat boys and girls more equally. Historically, families and schools encouraged girls to be kind and caring, and boys to be strong and ambitious. Today, parents and teachers are rightly investing more time and energy in nurturing confidence and leadership in girls. Unfortunately, there isn’t the same momentum around developing generosity and helpfulness in boys. The result is less attention to caring across the board. Kids, with their sensitive antennae, pick up on all this. They see their peers being celebrated primarily for the grades they get and the goals they score, not for the generosity they show. They see adults marking their achievements without paying as much attention to their character. Parents are supposed to leave a legacy for the next generation, but we are at risk of failing to pass down the key virtue of kindness. How can we do better? When our own kids started school, we noticed that many of our questions at the end of the day were about accomplishments. Did your team win? How did the test go? To demonstrate that caring is a core value, we realized that we needed to give it comparable attention. We started by changing our questions. At our family dinners, we now ask our children what they did to help others. At first, “I forget” was the default reply. But after a while, they started giving more thoughtful answers. “I shared my snack with a friend who didn’t have one,” for example, or “I helped a classmate understand a question she got wrong on a quiz.” They had begun actively looking for opportunities to be helpful, and acting upon them. As parents, we’ve also tried to share our own experiences with helping—and to make a point of including the moments when we’ve failed. Telling your kids about how you regret not standing up for a child who was bullied might motivate them to step up one day. Recalling a time when you quit a team and left your teammates in the lurch might prompt your kids to think more carefully about their responsibilities to others. The point is not to badger kids into kindness, or dangle carrots for caring, but to show that these qualities are noticed and valued. Children are naturally helpful—even the smallest ones appear to show an innate understanding of others’ needs. By the time they are a year and a half old, many children are eager to help set the table, sweep the floor, and clean up games; by the time they turn two and a half, many will give up their own blanket for someone else who is cold. But too many kids come to see kindness as a chore rather than a choice. We can change that. Experiments show that when kids are given the choice to share instead of being forced to, they’re roughly twice as likely to be generous later. And when kids are praised and recognized for helping, they are more likely to help again. We can also advise our children to be mindful of the friends they make. Psychologists distinguish between two paths to popularity: status (which derives from being dominant and commanding attention) and likability (which comes from being friendly and kind). Adolescents are often drawn to status, flocking to cool kids who seem superior, even if they’re not particularly nice. Every parent can relate to the experience of thinking, I can’t believe that kid’s behavior. He’s never coming over again!) Children are similarly quick to admire peers on the basis of their accomplishments—the fastest runner on the team, say, or the winner of the talent show. We don’t think parents should police friendships, but we do think it’s important to nudge kids to notice classmates who are kind and compassionate. We can ask how those children treat others, and how they make others feel. That’s a starting point for developing friendships with children who have compatible values—not ones who stomp all over them. We tell our own children that they shouldn’t hang out with the popular kids who sneer and laugh when a classmate trips in the cafeteria. They should get to know the kids who help pick up her tray. As we’ve seen, overemphasizing individual achievement may cause a deficit of caring. But we don’t actually have to choose between the two. In fact, teaching children to care about others might be the best way to prepare them for a successful and fulfilling life. Quite a bit of evidence suggests that children who help others end up achieving more than those who don’t. Boys who are rated as helpful by their kindergarten teacher earn more money 30 years later. Middle-school students who help, cooperate, and share with their peers also excel—compared with unhelpful classmates, they get better grades and standardized-test scores. The eighth graders with the greatest academic achievement, moreover, are not the ones who got the best marks five years earlier; they’re the ones who were rated most helpful by their third-grade classmates and teachers. And middle schoolers who believe their parents value being helpful, respectful, and kind over excelling academically, attending a good college, and having a successful career perform better in school and are less likely to break rules. In part, that’s because concern for other people promotes supportive relationships and helps prevent depression. Students who care about others also tend to see their education as preparation for contributing to society—an outlook that inspires them to persist even when studying is dull. In adulthood, generous people earn higher incomes, better performance reviews, and more promotions than their less generous peers. This may be because the meaning they find in helping others leads to broader learning and deeper relationships, and ultimately to greater creativity and productivity. But kindness can also make kids happy in the here and now. In one experiment, toddlers received Goldfish or graham crackers for themselves, then were invited to give some of the food to a puppet who “ate” them and said “yum.” Researchers rated the children’s facial expressions, and found that sharing the treats appeared to generate significantly more happiness than receiving them. And the toddlers were happiest of all when the treats they gave came from their own bowl, rather than from somewhere else. Psychologists call this the helper’s high. Economists refer to it as the warm glow of giving. Neuroscientists find that generosity activates reward centers in our brains. And evolutionary biologists observe that we’re wired to help others. A tribe of people who “were always ready to aid one another,” Darwin wrote, “would be victorious over most other tribes; and this would be natural selection.” Of course, we should encourage children to do their best and to take pride and joy in their accomplishments—but kindness doesn’t require sacrificing those things. The real test of parenting is not what your children achieve, but who they become and how they treat others. If you teach them to be kind, you’re not only setting your kids up for success. You’re setting up the kids around them, too. ADAM GRANT is an organizational psychologist at the University of Pennsylvania’s Wharton School of Business. He is the author of Originals and Give and Take; a co-author of The Gift Inside the Box; and the host of TED’s WorkLife podcast. ALLISON SWEET GRANT is a writer and the co-author of The Gift Inside the Box. |
Written, Compiled & Edited byThe Bergen Review Media Team Archives
October 2024
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