 Can personal and professional success make you depressed? It actually can, depending on how you define it. As a clinical psychologist, I specialize in helping entrepreneurs get out of their own way so they can have the success they want. A lot of clients come in to see me with definitions of the word that, frankly, aren’t working for them. The result? Perpetual disappointment, strained relationships, burnout, businesses that are not as profitable as they want, overwhelming stress and even depression.
What about you? Are your definitions of success causing you more pain and less prosperity? Here are five common ways people define success—definitions that, in reality, could be leading to significant distress: 1. Success means making more and more money. People often think, If I had millions of dollars, life would be great. That would be true success. In reality, when your primary motivator is money, you lose focus on what’s truly important to you. And having a sense of meaning and purpose is critical to your psychological well-being. There is a type of depression called existential depression that is caused by a lack of true passion and meaning in your life—focusing on money over meaning is a great way to feel empty and down. 2. Success means having a certain title. So often, I see people getting on what I call the Self-Worth Treadmill. They think, When I get to a director level, then I’ll be successful. Then once they achieve that title, they search for the next way to determine their self-worth: When I become an executive, then I will be successful. And if it’s not a title, it could be some other arbitrary criteria. Like being on a treadmill, you feel the need to keep going for the next step, never feeling fully satisfied for what you have accomplished. Once you achieve one goal, you are looking for the next thing. By continuing to define your success—and worth—by superficial external measures, you will fail to feel fully satisfied. And that can cause a plummet in your mood. 3. Success means that I put certain things on hold (like my relationships or my own health) in order to achieve it. If I had a dollar for every client who told me, “I will take care of that (relationships, health, stress) when things calm down,” I would be a rich woman. People often put their heart and soul into their work. In this day and age when the lines of professional and personal time are so blurred, I often find clients working excessive hours. They justify it saying that achieving success requires that they focus on their business. The result? Social isolation, lack of exercise, sleep deprivation and poor eating habits, all of which can contribute to depression. The real secret to success is to include time for yourself and your relationships. World-class athletes know the importance of intense training and intense rest. Apply that in your life—and it doesn’t have to be perfect. Don’t have an hour to work out? Drop the all-or-nothing perfectionistic thinking. A walk around the block is better than perfect. 4. Success means not making a mistake. The fear of failure can be paralyzing for many. It can lead to working for hours on one small, insignificant detail. For others, it can cause procrastination and avoidance. In order to be successful, many believe, my work must be perfect. So they hold off on publishing that book, releasing a new product or giving a speech until it’s perfect. The result? Lack of productivity, as well as depression. In fact, perfectionism, which entails a view that your work (and you) are either perfect or a failure, is a strong predictor of depression. In reality, success is often fueled by “failures” if you use them as learning opportunities. 5. Success means being entitled to special privileges, experiences and services. Entitlement, or thinking you deserve something just because of who you are, is a surefire way to feel miserable. Think of the celebrity divas (male and female) who are in the news for yelling at a flight attendant for doing their job or throwing a tantrum for not getting their way. Entitlement is, ironically, caused by low self-worth. Those who feel entitled get upset when they don’t receive the treatment they think they should; it is a huge blow to their ego. And such a fragile ego is a prime ingredient for depression. Instead of viewing the world as here to serve you, concentrate on how you are here to serve the world in whatever way feels right to you. This will boost your happiness and your success. Success is based not only on your profits but also on your purpose—applying your values and strengths, focusing on what is important to you. So, how do you define success? See what personal development expert Zig Ziglar says success is—and what it isn’t. Elizabeth Lombardo, Ph.D., is a wealth psychologist helping entrepreneurs get out of their own way so they can have the successful businesses they want. Her newest book Better than Perfect: 7 Strategies to Crush Your Inner Critic and Create a Life You Love is now available. How can you crush your inner critic? Learn more at www.ElizabethLombardo.com New Jersey was Ranked Among The Top 5 Happiest States In The Country And We’re Not Surprised6/21/2021 The happiest state in America, according to a recent study, is Hawaii. However, New Jersey isn’t far behind. In this same study (done by WalletHub), we ranked number four! Utah and Minnesota ranked second and third, respectively, with Maryland rounding out the top five. Are you surprised by these results? We’re certainly not! Read on for more info along with photos of some of the most beautiful places in New Jersey. We hope they make you smile! The study took into account 32 key metrics related to happiness including sleep rate, depression rate, unemployment rate, volunteer rate, divorce rate, and safety.  Photo: Statue Of Liberty These metrics were divided into three categories - emotional and physical well-being, work environment, and community.  Walpack When it came to emotional and physical well-being, New Jersey came in at number one!  Chester Some of our greatest strengths are a low depression rate and a low divorce rate, when compared to the rest of the US.  Delaware Water Gap An area we could improve on is work environment.  Jersey City But overall, we're pretty cheerful. And, there's more to love. We're a top state for teachers and have excellent school systems.  Barnegat Light We're also consistently ranked among the wealthiest states, often taking the top spot. Another plus? We're among the most diverse states.  Red Mill, Clinton We're not perfect and we're certainly not everyone's cup of tea. But this is New Jersey, and we're beautiful.  Warren County Courthouse Is New Jersey your cup of tea? Do you appreciate our beaches, mountains, museums, forests, farms, Pinelands, and pizza? Do you feel a little spoiled that we’ve got incredible day trip destinations like Cape May, Atlantic City, Ocean City, Lambertville, Princeton, and so many others? Are you proud to live in the Garden State?
This article first appeared on "Only in your state" and it was written by Kristen How to Use a Rowing Machine Correctly—Because We’re Definitely All Making the Same Mistake6/12/2021 Kells McPhillips  Almost all novice rowers make the same mistake within seconds of strapping into a rowing ergometer, says world-class rower Libby Peters, the former associate head coach of the University of Pennsylvania women’s rowing team. As a member of the U.S. National Team, Peters won a bronze medal at the 2008 World Rowing Championships. Needless to say she knows how to use a rowing machine properly.It’s not entirely intuitive, but with practice, rowing becomes as natural as, say, breathing. And now that it’s no longer a sport reserved for Ivy League athletes, rowing machines have finally found their way into fitness studios throughout the country. From New York’s City Row to high-tech at-home equipment, strokes are becoming as ubiquitous as cycling or running. But perhaps rowing’s greatest appeal is the uniquely low-impact efficiency of the movement. While providing a great full-body workout, a rower is designed primarily to target your legs—but the most common mistake is that too many people task their arms with all the work, pulling with all their might, says Peters. She recommends rethinking the way you approach the exercise. “The thing to remember about rowing is, it’s basically like you’re lifting like a heavy load,” says Peters. “When you’re in a boat, the load is you and the boat itself; when you’re on the erg, the load is the resistance being created by the machine.” (I don’t know about you, but this was an “aha!” moment for me when I heard it.) Below, Peters explains how to fix your rowing form. With practice, the rowing machine promises to become one of your favorite pieces of equipment Wondering how to use a rowing machine properly? Learn from a world-class rowing coach Before you sit down on the sliding seat, make sure the adjust rowing machine’s damper setting. This mechanism, located on the side of the machine, determines the resistance level. Set it to level three, four, or five. Cruising at these lower speeds will keep you from hurting yourself when you’re just getting your sea (land?) legs, according to Peters.
Try out your new form with a 12-minute rowing workout“I always recommend starting with intervals,” says Peters. For a quick-hit cardio session, alternate every 60 seconds between slow strokes that focus on strength and proper form (shoot for 16 to 18 strokes per minute), and strokes that are more casual as your active recovery. Go back and forth between the two for 10 to 12 minutes. “I really like interval workouts for young or new athletes,” she says. “I think you get more out of it by doing higher quality with shorter time or shorter distance.” Speaking of gym machines that we love, this one gives you a full-body workout in a single move and the secret to giving your booty a boost on the treadmill.  When you want a feel-good, low-impact workout that also makes you work up a sweat in minimal time, there’s one answer: power yoga. Unlike your traditional calming flow, it’s basically a high-intensity form of yoga that focuses on cardio and strength-building. Hello, full-body burn. There Are 38 Million Power Yoga Videos—These Are the 9 Best You Can Do in 10 Minutes or Less 1. Rebecca Louise 10-minute full-body power yoga workout The nice thing about this power yoga circuit is you can make it as easy or as hard as you want. 2. Deliciously Ella sweaty 10-minute fire flow You’ll definitely get your cardio in with this fun—yet challenging!—flow. 3. Five Parks Yoga 10-minute power yoga class This power yoga video isn’t for newbies. If you’re still working on your balance, you might want to start with another option. 4. Yoga With Bird 5-minute morning yoga power flow Only have 5 minutes? Then this morning yoga power flow is the perfect way to start your day 5. PsycheTruth 10-minute power yoga workout If you’re looking for a beginner-friendly option, this is it. This workout specifically helps strengthen your arms and core. 6. Yoga by Candace 10-minute power yoga vinyasa If you’re a fan of headstands, you’ll have a lot of fun with this power yoga vinyasa workout. If not, you might want to skip it until you get it nailed down. 7. Yoga with Kassandra 10-minute cardio yoga workout You’ll definitely work up a sweat in this booty, core, and upper body-focused power yoga flow. 8. SarahBethYoga 10-minute power yoga workout for abs You’ll get in a killer core workout in this power yoga workout that will make your abs feel like they’re on fire. 9. Koya Webb 10-minute HIIT yoga This workout combines traditional yoga with HIIT movements added in to give your metabolism a boost. These are some of the most common mistakes people make with yoga: |
Written, Compiled & Edited byThe Bergen Review Media Team Archives
September 2025
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